Monday Moan 47

Loons?  What a ridiculous idea

So, Lord Feldman (apparently, Conservative Party Chairman) is supposed to have described Conservative Party activists as ‘mad, swivel-eyed loons’. The comment is alleged to have been made to journalists and concerned the Party’s kamikaze descent into madness over Europe.

For non-Conservatives this is a wonderful time, watching them get worked up over a series of issues that have been left bubbling away beneath the surface for many years.  Europe is the best example, of course, with former Ministers lining up on either side of the debate to criticise the way the Party is going.

Of course, the idea that swivel-eyed loons are the exclusive preserve of local Conservative Associations is, clearly, nonsense – according to my research into Jeremy Hunt , Michael Gove and David Mellor.

Some people are beginning to wonder whether the flames of unrest are being fanned by sections of the media more interested in a story than any balanced reporting. For example, the BBC decided to lead its main News programmes yesterday with extensive coverage of the delivery of a letter to 10 Downing Street by a group of 34 Conservative Association chairmen and former chairmen, complaining about same-sex marriage. Rather less prominence was given to the separate letter, signed by more than 100 Conservative activists, calling on the Party’s MPs to back the same-sex legislation.

I suspect Alex Salmond is behind all this.  After all, which Scot wouldn’t vote for independence from the rest of the UK once UKIP becomes the largest party in England?

Heard on the bus ……

Sometimes, just listening to other people can be as entertaining a way of spending time as reading the newspaper or listening to music. 

For example, travelling on a bus in one of our significant seats of learning at the weekend, I had the pleasure of listening to a young lady talking to two others who appeared to be her parents.  I really wasn’t eavesdropping – it was impossible not to hear her.  A loud and, in all honesty, what can only be described as one of the most irritating voices I have ever heard, forced its way into my consciousness when it was describing how the lady in question had failed to be offered a job despite the fact that she had been told she had “interviewed well”.  Nothing to do with her voice, I am sure.

Then displaying all the intelligence that she had, no doubt, brought to bear in her interview, she explained how the interview had taken place in “Bulgaria, that posh bit of London”, and wondered whether if you rode a ‘Boris-bike’ in London you were allowed to use the pavements rather than the roads.

Can’t for the life of me think why she didn’t get the job.

Arsene Wenger – Miracle Man

‘Honest’ Harry Redknapp told the Match of the Day audience last October (see Moan 20) that Arsenal were rubbish, would finish beneath Tottenham, and that it would be a miracle if Arsenal qualified for the Champions League this year.

Well, ‘Honest’ was about as right as he always is.  His prediction that Tottenham would finish above Arsenal was one he has made every year since I can remember – and it was wrong yet again. In fact, it is now so long ago since Arsenal last finished below Tottenham that you have to begin to question whether the law of averages really does exist.  When was it?  1994-95 – the same year that Blackburn Rovers were the champions and Wimbledon finished in the top half of the Premier League.  So long ago.

The debate will continue over whether Arsene Wenger can ever again turn Arsenal into serious title challengers, but in an era when money may become less of a key to success and when Manchester United have to learn to live without Alex Ferguson, you never know.

Can you read between the lines?

One of the simple pleasures of life is to enjoy the countryside and marvel at all that nature conjures up each year.  Our annual trip to enjoy the bluebells in the Ashridge Estate yesterday delivered its usual quota of awe and sheer enjoyment at the marvellous display of colour that these small flowers bring.

However, I am slightly worried that my eyesight is deteriorating.  Some of the footpaths were closed, but try as I might to read between the lines, I could not see anything on the notices about the closures that said that this did not apply to unsupervised children, or to adults who just wanted to take a ‘nice’ photograph of their companion sitting amongst the flowers.

What is it about people that they can blithely ignore rules or requests like these?  Are these the same people who think that the ban on using your mobile phone whilst driving doesn’t apply to them,  or that prohibitions on parking in a disabled bay or on a yellow line are meant for everyone else?  

Selfish and arrogant individuals, all of them. But don’t challenge them, unless you are prepared to be subjected to abuse, verbal or perhaps worse.

Monday Moan 18

I’m just a common man …..

So, Ed Miliband is a common man, a man who has shared the life experiences of an ordinary person, who knows what most of the UK population have to face in their everyday lives – he is, therefore, one of us and someone we can trust.

Well yes, to a point.  I’m not sure that those who have described Haverstock school as ‘Labour’s Eton’ have got it right.  It is not and never was one of the best schools in London, arguably not even in Camden.  But it did and does seem to attract a reasonable number of the pink socialists of Hampstead and Primrose Hill, for whom sending their children to a Comprehensive school is a badge of honour, but let’s make sure it’s a good school.

The real difference with Ed, of course, was that he had a famous academic for a father, which must have helped with securing the attention of his teachers.  Ed also managed to move on from the school to both Oxford and Harvard universities – good for him, but hardly typical of your average UK voter.

More to the point, poor old Ed just doesn’t look the part, does he?  I mean, we should not be so superficial as to think that presentation and personality are all that matter, but it is undeniable that to be taken seriously as a potential Prime Minister you have to score well on both counts. 

That’s a shame for Ed.  It’s also a shame for the Labour Party and UK politics generally.  I can’t help thinking that if the names on the ballot paper for leader had not included 2 Milibands then the voters might not have got so confused and elected the wrong man.

 

 

Give us a story – any story will do

The big story on the eve of the Tory Conference was about Jeremy Hunt’s quote that he personally favoured a 12-week limit for abortions – just as he had voted for last time the issue came up in Parliament.  Nothing surprising there and hardly newsworthy really, even though Jeremy is now the Health Secretary.

As with other issues of what we might call belief or conscience, votes in Parliament on abortion are not cast along party political lines – the parties themselves do not have policies, leaving decisions on how to vote to individual MPs.

The Government has no plans to review the current arrangements so it’s a non-story – except for what it tells us about Jeremy Hunt.  Let’s see, he was the man who somehow emerged from the shambles of his handling of the BSkyB takeover fiasco still in his job, despite what almost everybody believed was, on the most charitable of views of his behaviour, thorough incompetence on his part.  

Of course, he was also the man who nearly nearly decapitated an innocent bystander at the start of the Olympics.

It really is a miracle that the man has risen to his current position, isn’t it?  On abortion he is quoted as saying, “my own view is that 12 weeks is the right point for it. It is just my view about that incredibly difficult question ………. I don't think the reason I have that view is for religious reasons.”

Hmm. Should we worry that he appears not to know whether or not he holds his views for religious reasons?  Maybe the truth is that he should have stopped his remarks after uttering the words “I don’t think.”

 

 

Who are these people?

What is it that makes some of our political leaders feel the need to have a group of supporters sitting behind them during their party conference speeches?  All the backdrop people get to see is the back of their leader yet they are supposed to look enthralled, hanging on every word. They must, above all else, stay awake, of course!

Nick Clegg and Ed Miliband took different approaches when selecting their supporters.  Nick’s looked like they were serious party workers, had heard it all before, and were less than inspired by what they heard.  Ed’s, on the other hand, looked like they were waiting to audition for Glee, all bright-eyed and hanging on Mr Leader’s every word.

 

But if they have to have them there, isn’t it rude not to turn round and acknowledge them during their speeches? 

 

 

Monday Moan 9

 Intellectual indolence

And there I was, thinking that the i-paper (mini Independent) must be as uninteresting as its grown-up brother.  But I was wrong.  A train journey to Leeds was the catalyst for purchasing the i-paper on Friday and I'm not sure if reading it did much more than suggest to me that it resembles nothing other than a Daily Mail-like publication for people who think they are too clever and refined to read the Daily Mail.

I could put forward any number of examples to demonstrate my point, but two should be sufficient.

Amol Rajan writes in the column 'FreeView from the editors at i'.  In an otherwise interesting article broadly about Mitt Romney and his visit to London (see elsewhere in this week's Moan) he fails quite miserably to make the leap for the moral and intellectual high-ground when he argues that headlines describing Romney's comments as 'gaffes' are written by stupid people. Gratuitous insults are not the mark of intelligence. And his repetition of the tortuous explanation from "the excellent Mark Ferguson" which purports to show why failing to call Ed Miliband by his name was actually a sign of respect is something that will have many reaching for the sick-bags.  But save some space in those receptacles for your reaction to his parting shot that people who see gaffes in what Romney said are guilty of "intellectual indolence".  My, my, it would be hard to come up with a better example of the intellectual indolence he so decries in others.  

And then we have a letter from Val Gaize, apparently one who has not succumbed to the general feeling of goodwill towards the Olympics.  Instead, this reader suggests that we have turned London into a police state ruled by Mammon and that this has been done to allow a middle-aged former Olympic gold medallist to fulfil his ambition.

What a ridiculous and unfounded collection of accusations.  Poor old Val.  Maybe she could hibernate for the next two weeks in order to avoid the possibility that she might explode, Mr Creosote-like, as her righteous indignation ferments relentlessly whilst wall-to-wall coverage of the Games dominates all of our lives? 

Thanks for the advice, Buddy?

A long train journey provides a good opportunity to catch up on a bit of reading - once you have selected your seat from amongst those still unreserved.  Why is it that if two individuals, unknown to each other, reserve seats then the train company will place them next to each other, rather than giving them some space?  Hence the need to select your seat even if you have gone to the trouble of reserving one.

Anyway, on my way back from Leeds last week I had time to read The Economist. I read the leader on the American Presidential campaign and it got me wondering who writes these things, since they are never attributed.  What expertise and knowledge do leader writers have on the topics they write about? Should we take them as serious and authoritative contributions to debates on the topics concerned, or are they no more worthy of note than the thoughts of that lonely and rather sad bloke who props up one corner of the bar in your local pub most nights of the week?

This particular leader in The Economist was telling America what it needed to be debating about the role of Government, suggesting that at the moment neither President Obama nor Mitt Romney seemed "to understand the central domestic challenge of the next presidency".

Pretty damning stuff.  However, I can't help wondering whether we would be universally delighted and grateful if the boot was on the other foot and we received similar strictures from some American magazine.

Maybe we would. Or maybe we would suggest that they butt out of matters they don't understand.

Britain at its best?

 

So, the Opening Ceremony.  That's a tough one.  Do you want to join in with the general applause for all that is good about Britain and it's wonderful imagery that was admired all over the world?  Or do you feel compelled to say that, actually, you thought that the few good bits in the show that never seemed to end did not make up for the boredom and embarrassment of the rest of it?

According to the Daily Express,  Wayne Hemingway (fashion designer and tv personality) said: "The musical bit was perfection from the wit and the guts to put Tiger Feet among the Beatles and the Who and then to give pretty much the whole of Pretty Vacant. Normally it would be brushed over, but the punk spirit which is in Britain was written through the ceremony. Anyone cynical about this has no lust for life, it's just bloody brilliant. I don't think anyone could find a fault. He deserves a knighthood."

OK.  First, I guess I have to declare that I have no lust for life - on Wayne's measure of such things.  Second, it is prefectly possible to express a view at odds with those of Wayne, or anyone else wanting to praise Danny Boyle, without being cynical.  It's called having a different view. And third,  whether or not the "musical bit was perfection" is really not an objective issue on which there is a right or wrong answer.  Would I have chosen different music to represent the best of British culture?  Of course I would - and I'd like to think that everybody reading this blog would have come up with their own, different list.  See, that's the beauty of free will and having opinions.  We don't all have to pretend in the Emperor's New Clothes.

Rush to judgement?

All those empty seats over the first couple of days for the Olympics were bound to create a storm of protest.  The media lapped up the opportunity to be indignant and slam the organisation - thank goodness there was something like this, given that transport and security have not turned out to be be problems so far (watch this space though for transport once people return to work and, if all still goes smoothly, once the main stadium is in use during the athletics).

So we had Jeremy Hunt popping up on our screens to say that the problem seemed to be that the sponsors were not using their tickets and something would have to be done about that.  The media duly repeated this and then in interviews with the public we had it played back from them - confirming that the 'message' had been received. 

Trouble is that a bit of further investigation seems to have revealed that the sponsors were not to blame after all, but that the problem lies with the tickets set aside for the 'Olympic family' - national Olympic Associations, competitors and the like.  Moreover, they don't appear to have actual tickets that can be resold to the public if the seats remain empty, since they are merely reserved areas that members of the 'family' can chose to sit in if they wish.

No doubt Jeremy Hunt was briefed that what he said was true - such a shame that he hasn't been back on our screens so far to apologise for his error in pointing the finger in the wrong direction.

 



(delayed) Monday Moan 4

Jeremy Watch

Endless excitement in the Hunt household about the brilliant part being played by South West Surrey in the Olympics success story.  Huh?  Yes, SWS has won 12.7% of all Olympic contracts (being such a well-known hotspot of manufacturing), the torch is being carried through Godalming (thanks to Jeremy’s lobbying skills) and, best of all, SWS even has an Olympic event – the Road Race will whizz through. Hopefully the riders will not be too startled by the Dorking Cockerel.

Whether to worry about the weather forecasts

OK, British people love to moan about the weather so maybe this isn’t news, but I’ve had it with the weather this year.  It’s past midsummer and I am still being tempted to put my heating on in the evenings. My Arctic duvet has not been put away yet. On Sunday we had sunshine – except for the 20 minutes I went to the shops, when it bucketed down and left the washing on the line as wet as it had been four hours earlier when it was put outside.

Isn’t it about time the Govt did something? I’m sure the last Administration would have acted by now.

Euro and out

So, England are now out of the Euros (football story, nothing to do with the economy), after a poor and mind-numbingly unadventurous display against the kings of the defensive approach on Sunday.  At least we have been spared the bleatings about how unlucky we were and how our ‘golden’ generation of footballers just needed a good leader for them to be able to rule the world (think back to South Africa 2 years ago – or any tournament in the last 10 years).  No, at least this time most people recognise that we were lucky to get away without an embarrassing scoreline against us and that we probably got further than we deserved.

That won’t stop pundits telling us what we need to do to resume our rightful place at the top table.  But stop for a minute and think what our rightful place should be, and you ought to conclude that it’s not at the top table at all.  Since we won the World Cup on home turf in 1966, England’s position in world football has been somewhere around the middle band of performers – occasionally near the top of the group, but not very often.  And that won’t change until players learn how to control the ball when it is passed to them, how to create space so that those with the ball have somebody to pass to, and how to pass the ball to such colleagues rather than aimlessly hoofing it upfield hoping that someone will be able to ‘get on the end of it’. 

Mogadon for the masses?

Talking of the Euros, I find myself in a difficult position regarding the Germans.  I remember when Man Utd were playing Bayern Munich in the Champions League final a few years ago and an ex-boss of mine, who was a Fulham supporter, said “Man Utd or the Germans, it’s a difficult decision isn’t it?”  Well no, actually I thought it was easy – Bayern got my vote without a moment’s hesitation. 

But this time it’s more difficult.  I should be supporting Spain – who play ‘beautiful’ football, where they love the ball and do wonderful things with it.  I loved it when they won the last Euros and the World Cup.  They had so much skill and even played with a striker or two.  But, but….. Am I the only one who thinks this Spanish team is now sucking the life out of games, sending opponents, crowds and tv viewers into a deep sleep with their endless pit-pat passing and no end result?  The latest stat being presented for us to admire is how many passes each side is making in a game.  The Spanish win this one every time, but isn’t that because they indulge in endless short passes back and forth without ever looking to make a run forward, or an attempt on goal? Mogadon for the masses? 

I have to say I prefer the German approach which allies supreme ball skills with something I recognise as football – exciting play designed to beat your opponents and create chances for goalmouth action.  I hope they beat the Spanish in the final – assuming both teams get there. 

Julian Assange – just too creepy?

The Julian Assange saga continues to rumble on – his court appearances and attempts to play the system resembling those of Cap’n Hook Hamza.  So many threads to this, but how about just two – didn’t he ever think what might happen once he upset so many people by his self-centred conceit that he knew better than everyone else what should and shouldn’t be considered private?  And why do we have a legal system that seems incapable of reaching a conclusion in a reasonable amount of time, preferring instead a seemingly never-ending series of appeal possibilities?

Monday Moan 1

The Monday Moan



 

 

 

 

Baroness Warsi - when will politicians get the message?  Does she really need the money?

The NHS - it's personal, but don't get me started, unless you have a lot of time on your hands.

Jeremy Hunt - why is he still in his job?  Surely he should have been shown the door by now, or better still, done the decent thing and resigned?

Ed Miliband - were those soldiers in Afghanistan impressed that he thanked them for what they were doing? Did any them wonder who the hell he was?