Monday Moan 8

You might be a professor, but ……

John Kay is one of Britain’s leading economists. He has been chairing the Review of UK Equity Markets and Long-Term Decision-Making which reported today to the Secretary of State for Business, Innovation and Skills. He is a visiting Professor of Economics at the London School of Economics, a Fellow of St John’s College, Oxford, a Fellow of the British Academy, a Fellow of the Royal Society of Edinburgh, a director of several public companies, the author of many books, and he writes a weekly column in the Financial Times.

In short, he’s done pretty well for himself based on his intellectual prowess.

But that doesn’t mean he listens to questions.  Asked on the Today programme this morning how confident he was that the Government would take heed of his recommendations, he replied that the questioner would have to ask the Government to answer.  Sounds like a sensible response?  Well no, not really.  The question wasn’t whether the Government would follow his recommendations,  it was what he – John Kay, eminent professor and all round brain-box - thought the Government would do.

Why on earth would we have to ask the Government whether it knew what John Kay’s answer would be to that question?

The Today programme is a wonderful source of irritation, isn’t it? Never fails to come up with something that gets me going in full moaning mode.  Usually it is John Humphreys displaying his usual Grumpy Old Man impression - “I-know-more-than-you-so-let-me-tell-you-what-your-answer-should-be.”

This morning it was James (don’t mention Jeremy Hunt) Naughtie who stepped into Humphreys’ shoes.  He was trying to interview Alistair Leathead about the recent shootings in America and asked “they're getting used to these kind of events aren't they?”  Leathead replied that he didn’t hear the question, but instead of repeating it, Naughtie said “these things come around in a kind of ghastly regular pattern now and Americans have got to accept that every now and again this is going to occur and it seems to produce a kind of element of mystification each time."

That sounds more like a statement for Leathead to support rather than a question seeking an answer.

The pulse of the nation?

So, the Olympics are nearly upon us and the nation is gripped by ……….?  I’m not sure what to put in here.  Are we really excited and enthusiastic about the Olympics, or are we miserable, angry about the cost/disruption/influx of visitors, etc? 

I guess it all depends on what you want to believe.  Turning to that great barometer of the nation’s views that is the Comments section on the  Daily Mail’s website, you might conclude that the citizens of this country are just waiting for everything to go wrong so that they can all leap up as one and shout “we told you so”.  Who are these people that have the time to fill their lives with sending venomous comments to online websites, berating all who have a view that does not coincide with their own?  Do they represent the true face of the UK?  Specifically in relation to the Olympics, do all the people living north of Watford see this as a huge southern conspiracy to spend Northerners’ tax contributions on this extravaganza, in which they (the Northerners) have no interest at all?

If so, then who are all the people that have, for the last month or so, been seen at roadsides all over the UK having parties, enjoying themselves, getting on with strangers, proudly waving their Union Jacks, waiting for hours on end, just to say they saw the Olympic torch?  There certainly didn’t seem to be any lack of enthusiasm for the Olympics anywhere in the country when the torch passed by.

On your bike

Bradley Wiggins is likely to become the Sports Personality of the Year, unless another British athlete performs amazingly well during the Olympics.  Those touting Andy (cry me a river) Murray for this title are surely mistaken.

Fantastic achievement by Bradley, of course. Becoming the first ever Briton to win the annual cycle trip around France is absolutely brilliant.  But, but ……

We will now have to put up with even more cyclists on the roads, jumping traffic lights, wobbling uncertainly in front of other vehicles, chaining their cycles to street furniture and causing blockages to pedestrians in the process.  Trains will become even more crowded with fold-away bicycles and sweaty cyclists during the rush hour.

Worst of all, there will be an explosion of lycra on our streets as people of all shapes and sizes don the uniform that they assume will make them into better and faster cyclists – unbelievably tight and unflattering clothes that should only be worn by those who are (a) fit and (b) not afraid to display their wares in public.

Bradley – well done on winning, but what have you done to us all?

 

Give it a rest?

 

Politicians have seized upon the Olympics as a guaranteed means of generating publicity.  Select Committee chairs have been quick to spot the endless possibilities for self-promotion.  A previous Monday Moan (number 6 posted 9 July) highlighted some of the deficiencies with the Select Committee system.  This last week has provided further evidence in support of the Moan’s views.

Last week we had Keith Vaz, Chair of the Home Affairs Committee, waffling on about the poor performance in an oral evidence session before the Committee (and it is true that is really was appallingly poor) of the hapless Nick Buckles, apparently (and there is no clue as to how he managed this) Chief Executive of G4S, regarding security at the Olympics.   

So much bad-mouthing of people from the safety of the Parliamentary fortress.  But in the interests of balance, let’s not forget that this is the same Keith Vaz who has what can charitably be described as a chequered history of staying on the side of the angels during his Parliamentary career – having been, for example, investigated on a number of occasions by the Parliamentary standards watchdog over various claims of wrong-doing and having once been suspended from the House of Commons after an investigation by the Committee on Standards and Privileges found him guilty of making false allegations.

Milking of the Olympics for publicity will continue for a long time to come.  Vaz’s Committee has already announced that it will hold at least three further oral sessions in September – including a return (by populist demand?) of Nick Buckles.  Can't wait?  Thought not.

I want that job .....

And finally, we had Philip Barker on this morning’s Breakfast tv on BBC1. Philip has a really important job – he’s an Olympic Sports Historian. As an aside, I can’t help wondering where you can you apply for such a role. Anyway, Philip was being asked whether he thought the UK’s target medal tally was realistic. Summoning all the expertise gathered over his years of hard work as an Olympic Sports Historian, he replied that it was a very difficult question to answer because “a lot of other teams are also trying their best”.

Wow, for this insight into what the Olympics are all about, Philip should be given the knighthood that had probably been reserved for Andy Murray had he won this year’s Wimbledon.