Monday Moan 5

Life in the UK

It appears that the current citizenship test is to be revised.  Not all immigrants have to sit this test, but perhaps it’s a good job that there is no requirement for existing citizens to have to pass the test in order to be allowed to stay here?  Go on, try the practice test and see how you get on.  It’s not as easy as you might think – I’ll bet you have to guess a lot of the answers.  Of course, it doesn’t help that some of the answers in the example test appear to be wrong (see Q19, for example).

It’s so hard to prepare for the test. Have a look at the guidance provided by the Home Office on ‘what you need to know’ and see what answers you would give to the following questions that appear on page 8:-

• What do estate agents do? 
• How and where is rubbish collected?
• What is buildings and household insurance?

Apparently, the correct answers are not:-

• Lie to buyers and sellers alike, in order to boost their own profits
• In most Government departments
• A complicated system to rip off citizens

The Greatest?

For a while yesterday I thought that Spain had taken note of the criticism of their style of play and decided to play football in a more positive way. Their two goals in the first half of the Euro final against Italy were the direct result of someone actually injecting some pace into their play and running towards the opposition's goal instead of indulging in their usual mesmerising passing in the middle of the pitch.

But despite the fawning comments on the tv after the game and in the press today, I do not believe that what I witnessed was a change of heart, still less a peerless display by the best team of all time, as many commentators now suggest. Let’s remember that for most of the second half yesterday the Italians had clearly given up any hope of scoring themselves, perhaps understandably since they were a man short for most of that time and already 2-0 down. During that time the pace of the game slowed to a walk and the Spanish showed precious little inclination to take any risks. Only the introduction of substitutes sparked them into life – allied to some woeful defending by desperately tired Italians. Cue an orgasmic reaction from pundits. But wait a minute, wasn’t this the same Spanish side that bored the world with its 0-0 draw with Portugal only a few days earlier, and had struggled to do anything much in its 4 previous games in the tournament?

That they are the most difficult team in the world to beat at the moment is unarguable, their ability to keep the ball for long periods is unmatched, and when they do rouse themselves to make an incisive attack they are a joy to watch. But the greatest of all time? Not yet, in my opinion. They do not yet have the capacity to excite that the really great teams display. They might develop this, of course, but for the moment much of their play is a kind of intellectual pursuit – about as exciting as watching a chess grandmaster toy with a novice.

Bob's a Banker

Bob Diamond – what a great name, by the way – continues to occupy the CEO post at Barclays. Why? The latest disaster for the bank seems to have made no impact on the man at all.

Remember, it was Diamond Bob who told the Treasury Select Committee that ‘there was a period of remorse and apology for banks but that period now needs to be over’. It was Diamond Bob who ran the investment side of Barclays before being appointed CEO of the whole company, just at the time Government seemed to want banks to separate their investment and retail arms.

So, instead of Diamond Bob doing the decent thing, Chairman Marcus Agius (who?) is to resign. Of course, as Chairman he has to take some responsibility and he is right that this has been a reputational disaster for Barclays. I just wonder if he ever thought of staying on and rescuing the reputation of the bank by showing Diamond Bob the door? I think that might have worked.

 


The Torch

I am struggling to see the excitement in watching someone jog or walk for 300 metres or so with a giant torch that may or may not be alight. I am also confused about why they let someone devise the route when they were so obviously drunk. How else do you explain the apparently haphazard journey of the torch to London? I was in Hertford at the weekend and noticed that the torch would be passing though this coming Saturday. I then went a few miles along the road to Welwyn Garden City and saw that the torch would be there on Sunday. Now, it would take someone perhaps an hour to walk between these two places. Ah, I thought, they must be stopping overnight in Hertford and then setting off again the next day.


Wrong. I checked the route and discovered that rather than the obvious straight road from one place to the other, the torch will travel from Hertford via Bishop’s Stortford, Bury St Edmunds, Cambridge, St Ives, Bedford and Stevenage before ending up three miles down the road in Welwyn.


Perhaps the new citizenship test should require you to know the best way to go from Hertford to Welwyn?