(Monday) Moan 69

 

MY KIND OF COFFEE SHOP

I walked into a Costa coffee shop the other day and, for just about the first time ever, this one was devoid of any other customers.  No queuing for ages to get a drink, no trouble finding an unoccupied table, no pushing past the parked prams of the neighbourhood, no need for ear protectors against the noise of a thousand conversations, of chairs being scraped over the floor, of the coffee machine screeching away …….. Wait a minute, no coffee machine noise and no smell of coffee either …… what was going on?

 

It turned out that the coffee machine was broken and had been for two days. So no customers but a spotlessly clean shop and instant service if all you wanted was a cup of tea.

 

As a non-coffee drinker what could have been more perfect!  Thank you to whatever it was that caused the coffee machine to break. 

 

 

 

NOT MY KIND OF LOLLIPOP

I set off from my home the other day in my car and immediately I tried to turn out of my road there was a traffic jam.  Someone let me out when traffic eventually edged forward and 20 minutes and a few hundred metres further on I found the cause of the problem – a pedestrian crossing on which a lollipop man was taking his duties very seriously indeed.  

 

As I understand it, a lollipop man is supposed to help provide safe passage across the road for children going to school.  I’m OK with that.  But does this mean that the lollipop man needs to spring out onto the crossing (the use of the word “spring” is actually a bit of artistic licence, since the person in question seemed even less athletic and mobile than me) at the first sign of each and every individual child approaching?  Does this mean he should continue to hold up the traffic because he has spotted another child sauntering along who may reach the crossing in another thirty seconds or so?

 

I don’t think so.  Maybe some commonsense training would be in order so that everyone can go about their business in a more efficient way?

 

 

 

DRIVING ME MAD ON THE MOTORWAY

I have done a lot of driving this week, much of it on Motorways.  It seems to me that the irritation of the middle-lane blocker has abated considerably, no doubt as a result of the publicity earlier in the year around the introduction of new powers to fine people for lane hogging.

 

Good.  Not so much effect as far as I could see on  being in the wrong lane and then pushing into a queue of traffic when approaching roadworks or exits – where fines are also now possible.

 

Everyone has their favourite gripes about driving, and there is a very long list of things that can cause us angst.  My pet irritations remain the idiots who continue to hold their mobile phones in one hand whilst driving with the other – van and lorry drivers negotiating roundabouts being a particular gripe.  But on the motorway I have seen nothing that irritates me more than the lorry drivers who insist on holding everyone else up by trying to overtake an equally large and slow moving vehicle, particularly when approaching a hill, thus guaranteeing that they will lose speed and any chance of getting past for the next couple of miles or so.

 

Oh, and those people who ‘forget’ to switch off the variable speed limit signs for hours after the original cause of the restriction has cleared or been cleared away.

 
 

COMING SOON …….

Have you noticed the sudden proliferation of those large traffic condition indicator boards?  You know, the ones that warn you of a lane closure on the M62 when you are driving 200 miles away on the M25?  And when they have nothing to report from anywhere in the whole of the country they resort to safety slogans like ‘Take a rest’?

 

These boards are appearing everywhere – almost as if designed to clutter the landscape for no good reasons other than that the authorities can place them where they like and they have a bit of cash left in this year’s budget so want to spend it rather than give it back.

 

‘Take a rest’?  I’d say ‘Give us a break’.

Monday Moan 19

What An Example

Sitting on a bus going into one of our lovely provincial cities from the Park & Ride facility on Saturday I shared the top deck with a family group – Grandad, Grandma, Dad, Mum and child.  The child wondered why Grandad was sitting a few seats in front of the rest of them – “that’s so I can fart when I want to” explained the senior gentleman.  Nice.

 

The rest of the journey was no better.  The Grandad’s and Dad’s ‘conversations’ were littered with expletives, delivered at full volume so everybody on the bus could hear.  There was a running commentary on everything outside and an assessment of everybody they saw. 

 

Loud, obnoxious, opinionated, foul-mouthed …… what an appalling example to the poor child.  She may turn out to have respect for others and to behave in a civilised way, but if she does it will be no thanks to her relatives. 

 

Shame on them.

 

 

Any Chance Of A Seat?

Later in the city it was time for lunch.  Everywhere was busy but we didn’t want a full meal so decided to go to one of the many Starbucks/Costas/Pret A Manger/Caffè Nero-type places that have replaced the sandwich bar and cafes of the past.

Finding food wasn’t much of a problem.  But finding a couple of seats was.  Plenty of seats in the venue but mostly occupied, at the height of a busy Saturday lunchtime, by groups of people lingering over a cup of coffee and a very long chat.  At least there was no evidence in the particular place we chose of the laptop brigade – who can manage to make a single drink last for hours as they occupy a whole table with their laptops and papers.  Mind you, we found them at another place later in the day when all we wanted was a quick refresher after sightseeing and shopping.

What is it with such people?  Why is it that they think it acceptable to occupy space in a busy restaurant when their own food (if they ever had any in the first place) and drink has been consumed and they are just sitting around chatting, when people with food cannot find a space to eat?    Ask them to move up to make room, or perhaps ask if they are about to go and you are likely to be ignored, given a withering look or perhaps verbal abuse.

And why do the establishments themselves not do something about it?  Go out to a proper restaurant and overstay and you are quite likely to be asked to leave if there are others who are waiting for a table. 

 

Not Just The Crude

Whilst I’m on about it, there are plenty of others who can be intrusive and obnoxious in public places, as well as the foul-mouthed ones mentioned earlier.

Whilst less offensive than my bus companions, I’m not really that happy to find my ears assaulted by braying children of the rich who want everyone to know about their fabulous holidays, expensive sports activities, how Mummy or Daddy do this or that, or anything else of a similar ilk.

Whatever happened to private conversations between people in public places?  I try very hard to keep whatever I say to my table companion between the two of us and not to broadcast everything I say to everybody else in the place.

But then I’m not showing off, I’m not bragging, and I’m not wanting everyone to see me and know how important, rich, clever or funny I am.  I’m just out for a quiet day with someone I’ve chosen to be with and who wants to be with me.  We want to enjoy ourselves without imposing on others.

I know, that makes me weird.

 

Chicken Or Egg?

I wandered into the hell that is Primark during my city outing and found myself wondering whether the shop and its ethos were the cause of mess that is their sales floors or whether it was all the fault of their customers.  If you have shopped in one of their stores you will know what I mean – clothes all over the floor, customers rifling through piles of t-shirts or the like looking for their size and not worrying about those that fall on the floor around them, let alone folding them up again and putting them back afterwards if they decide not to buy.

You see similar things at other stores during sales times – as people rush to try to find the bargains and just leave discarded clothes on the floor. 

Is it the cheapness of the clothes that makes people behave like this?  Are there just too many customers trying to get hold of the goods so that they have no time or space to put things back?  Are the employees not trained or bothered to tidy up?

I don’t know the answer, and it is probably a combination of many things, but it all makes for a depressing experience, made worse by the knowledge that the clothes won’t last, so you’ll have to go through it all again soon.

  

You Are Only As Good As Your Last Gig

Clare Balding was one of the media stars of the Olympics and Paralympics.  Her stock rose to new heights as she was lauded as the best TV presenter, a person who knew what she was talking about, who had presence, authority and humour in just the right proportions.

It must have seemed like a good idea for her to accept the offer to chair last week’s ‘Have I Got News For You’ as a means of furthering her reputation. 

I doubt that she thinks so now.  HIGNFY is a show I like.  It usually manages to cover (loosely) the key topics of the week in a lively and entertaining way.  But not this week.  It might have seemed obvious to comment upon the Jimmy Savile revelations and upon Abu Hamza’s arrival in NY but, unfortunately, neither worked and we faced a series of tasteless jokes and embarrassed reactions from the audience that left the performers wriggling uncomfortably in their seats – and this despite what were undoubtedly the best efforts of those whose job it is to edit the mass of footage into a sharp and funny half hour programme.

A good reputation can so easily be tarnished by one calamitous appearance – I hope for Clare’s sake this is not something she’ll live to regret.