Monday Moan 30

Retired singer makes comeback ……. Major news?

With an arty and interesting video, a rather boring tune and words that could have been lifted from the poetry of an English student at any of our public schools, David Bowie’s ‘return’ sparks the inevitable miles of column and online inches, involving the hurling of long and absolutely implacably held views as to the merits of the man as singer and icon. You can’t call it a debate.

 

Is he a genius and one of the greatest musicians ever to draw breath, or is he just a clever marketing man who over-stayed his time in the spotlight and has eventually been revealed to be rather shallow and boring?  Line up in either camp – you’ll not be alone.

 

What intrigues and irritates me in equal measure is the way that this ‘return’ (a prelude to releasing a new album) was given such over-the-top coverage by the media.  Good old Will Gompertz (see Moan 17) was on the case, of course, on the main BBC News, but then so was the Today programme on Radio 4.  Front page photos in a number of British newspapers, articles in all the broadsheets ……

 

Why? 

Give us some space – please!

I apologise for returning to a previous subject (see Moan 19), but it is clear that my moaning has not had the desired effect.

When I go to a play or opera or film, I watch whatever I have paid to see and then I leave, so that others, who have also paid, are able to take my seats for the next performance. If I stay in a hotel then I leave after the night I have paid for has passed, so that the next guests are not left standing in the corridor holding their bags and waiting their turn.  If I buy a train ticket to take me one stop down the line I do not imagine that this entitles me to stay in my seat whilst the train carries on to the end of the line and then comes back again. 

This simple principle seems to work pretty well everywhere apart from coffee shops, where people have got it into their heads that the purchase of a single cup of coffee entitles you to occupy a table all day if you want to, spreading out your books and papers, tapping away on your laptop, talking to friends, reading a book or paper, or just watching the world go by. 

It’s about time the management in these establishments took responsibility for asking such people to leave.  There can be flexibility, of course, but during busy periods these limpet-like parasites should be shown the door so that other customers are not left standing around holding trays of drinks and food that they are unable to put on a table and enjoy because of the selfish actions of those who appear to think that buying a drink is the equivalent of a day ticket.

 

It’s snowing – get a grip people

The television and newspapers were beside themselves in recent days with dire predictions of chaos and travel disruption because of horrendous weather coming our way, sufficient to make whole societies quake in fear at the prospect.  Yes, there was going to be some snow.

What is it with all this scaremongering?  It’s a bit of snow. Other countries experience snow for weeks or even months on end every year, but life goes on.

 

This doom and gloom before the event is fast becoming a new way of behaving in the UK media.  They seem to latch on to anything that might possibly go wrong and then fill their programmes/pages with stories designed to panic people into hoarding food, avoiding poking their heads beyond their front doors, keeping their duvets pulled tightly around their ears, worrying about the ability of society to cope, etc.

 

Remember the pre-Olympic period when we were all told that the world would end because of security failures, major travel disruption, organisational chaos at the events, etc?

 

So, here’s my suggestion to the media.  Try reporting on what actually happens (it used to be called ‘news’) rather than what might happen based upon some fevered speculation designed to boost your sales.

 

Please, just stick to the singing!

Thank goodness Adele can sing.  The Golden Globes Awards showed that she's not great at public speaking.

Maybe it would be a good idea to stick to her strengths, particularly if she wins an Oscar this year, as seems quite likely?